I have never been a real “girl” when it comes to creepy crawlies. I have always had this philosophy about live and let live, if you don’t bother them they won’t bother you. And let’s face it living in South Africa isn’t for sissies especially when it comes to our bugs!
I never thought I would be one of those paranoid people, who become obsessed with avoiding insects! I have read the emails which claim a spider can lay its eggs in your clothes and then the little baby spiders hatch and eat their way through human flesh and start their own colony in your organs …which is why you should always hang your clothes out in the sun to dry….. not knowing anyone personally living with flesh eating spiders on their person, I have always just taken this with a pinch of salt and a large dollop of Doom.
However, since having had lymph nodes removed and being told that any insect bite on my right arm or hand, has the capacity to lead to a major infection (and ultimate head explosions!), my philosophy towards these tiny and not so tiny creatures has changed. I have been advised to carry around things like mosquito repellent, “stingoes”, bactroban etc; and literally send myself off to the nearest casualty facility for ANY spider bite.
Now I see potential incapacitation by insect everywhere!
I have also discovered I am now the pied piper of spiders. I have never seen so many spiders of every description in our home, they honestly stare at me knowing that my fate rest in their tiny venom sacs! Now before I totally sound like I’m becoming a little unhinged … I EVEN HAD ONE LAND ON MY HEAD the other evening as I was innocently watching TV! Boy if anyone saw the moves I pulled getting it off me, they would never say I had major surgery less than a month and a half ago! Ricky Martin would have signed me as his back up dancer on the spot!
I now wear shoes all the time, inside and outside. I am fine tuning my ninja skills walking silently through the house vigilant of any form of attack from a dusty nook. I even make sure the washing is drying outside in the sun!
So despite this disease determined to strip away all of my femininity, it’s actually turning me more into a girl every day! I certainly scream like one!
“I never kill insects. If I see ants or spiders in the room, I pick them up and take them outside. Karma is everything.” Holly Valance
“ The spider is more scared of you than you’re scared of it! Oh really, did it tell you that!” Unknown
“ Seeing a spider is not the problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears!”. Unknown
“I saw a spider in my bathtub, so I got a piece of tissue and very carefully…..burned the house down”. Unknown
“Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja”. Unknown