Bah Humbug!

So today I get the call from the Cancer Centre to say that according to the blood tests I did this morning, my bloods are too low for treatment tomorrow.

You would think this may not be the worst news ever, after all it means I can at least enjoy Christmas Day is a little more than I would have a day after chemo. However, considering that I felt better today than I have for an entire week, my cold finally gone and I have done all the things I have been told to do; I have rested and had plenty of fluids so I’m not sure where things went wrong.  And I’m not sure how much more resting can be done without becoming completely comatosed!

So I guess you can say I’m feeling disappointed and totally frustrated.  I just want to get these next 12 treatments over as quickly as possible and this delay is totally unwelcome.

I’ll go back on Friday for bloods again and if they are happy with them, I can have chemo straight after. But not knowing what to expect or what more I can do to get those bloods up, I know it’s not going to be an easy few days.

“You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.” Ralf Marston

“It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail.” Lech Walesa

“The fear really hits you. That’s what you feel first. And then it’s the anger and frustration. Part of the problem is how little we understand about the ultimate betrayal of the body when it rebels against itself.” Charles Bronson

“Frustration is a sign I am acting independently. The more you try your own way, the tighter the doors will stay closed.” Joyce Meyer


4 thoughts on “Bah Humbug!

  1. The days of anticipation preceding treatments are never fun, having that deadline moved and knowing there are more days of waiting just seems cruel – but its happened, and with a few days of rest (yes more of that) and a few vitamin tonics I’m sure your blood counts will bounce back.

    Hang it there, I know it isn’t easy and to stay positive is not always possible, but you’re going to have a better Christmas Day than you anticipated – something small to look forward to. And we’ll be ready for this again later in the week. xxx

    “OPTIMISM IS KEY. If you expect the worst, the worst will happen. You are your own stress, your own anger, your own sadness and frustration. If you let things bother you, they will, so don’t let them. Just be HAPPY!Nothing in life is easy, so make the best of all of it.Don’t dwell on the negatives. OPTIMISM IS KEY.”
    – Anon –

    “Tough times don’t last – tough people do!”
    – Robert H. Schuller –

    “Problems are like washing machines. they twist us, spin us and knock us around but in the end we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before”
    – Anon –


  2. Dearest Janine,

    The Wrights are all thinking of you.

    We read your blog and love the way the words come tumbling out. We laugh and cry with you and It is an honour to share your journey to hell and back. We know you are on the rocky road to recovery but follow the road signs carefully !

    We wish you and Pete a great Christmas and we pray that the year ahead will be filled with health, wealth and happiness.

    Lots of love

    Nev, Joc and Tom


  3. Thank you so much Joc! Pete and I appreciate all your support and encouragement, it really means so much to us.
    Wishing you, Nev and Tom a very Merry Christmas, hoping to come see you in the new year. Xxx


  4. Thanks Pete, always the voice of reason and calm. It’s exactly what you said, and few can know the days and weeks of mental (and physical) preparation for treatment day. So when it doesnt happen it’s like starting all that prep again. The positive is that I won’t (hopefully!) fall asleep in my lunch!
    I love you and appreciate you keeping me focussed xxx


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