A weak week

This week has proven to be rather emotional and physically challenging.

The joint pain I was warned about at the start of my new chemo drug decided to make an appearance today in the form of hip and lower back pain.  I was told it shouldn’t last much longer than a day or two.

Constipation my constant companion (slaps forehead).  The sister at the cancer center says it must be better than the alternative, diarrhoea – me thinks not so much when it accompanied by haemorrhoid issues (tmi I know – just keeping it real).

My eyebrows and eyelashes have shown signs of increased shedding.  Bizarrely,  I am still having to shave my legs weekly (slaps head again).  I remember speaking to a breast cancer fighter just after my surgery, she was undergoing chemo at the time and told me just how much this disease lays you completely bare.  So much taken from you, your whole identity especially all the physical things that make you YOU.  Nothing left to hide behind, not even eyelashes…

Hot flushes and weight gain…compliments of the chemo and their accompanying side-effect-combating drugs, pushing my poor confused and battered body into a menopausal state.

The positives this week however are that my veins seem to be holding up.  The sisters are still using a normal sized needle to access my veins, which I have been assured is a very good thing!  AND chemo treatments are down to single digits, 9 more to go.

Most importantly Pete hasn’t run away – despite my severe mood changes, although his three days away in Joburg may have something to do with that 😉

“You can’t make yourself feel positive, but you can choose how to act, and if you choose right, it builds your confidence”. Julien Smith

“Seeing the glass as half empty is more positive than seeing it as half full.  Through such a lens the only choice is to pour more. That is righteous pessimism”.  Criss Jami

“I am a survivor.  And like the moon, I have a feeling it would take actruly spectacular event to keep me from taking my place innthe scheme of things, waxing, waning and eclipsing notwithstanding”. Janet Rebhan

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7 thoughts on “A weak week

  1. You are both the poster-couple for unconditional love! :)Hang in there! XXX

    “I am learning to trust the journey even when I do not understand it” ~Mila Bron

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  2. No one said it was going to be easy, but you’re fighting the fight of a champion and I’m so proud of you. Keep fighting don’t let it get you done, there will be rainbows after the storm… I love you unconditionally. xxx

    “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.”
    Christian D. Larson

    “There are going to be days when giving up will seem
    oh so attractive and easy and perhaps no one will
    be there to save you but,
    Find that inner strength in yourself to get through today and tomorrow because this pain isn’t permanent and you are worthy and deserving of such greater things”
    Anon

    “You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own.”
    D.M. Dell

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  3. You cousin dear are allowed a “weak week”, what I never realised about the cancer fight – is how all-consuming it is, but you have complained less than most people do when they have a headache (even I have been known to quickly put green faces on my status when I feel off colour).

    For a change not going to quote a quote, but rather a song that I feel that epitomises and how proud you should be of yourself.

    I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire – Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar. ROAR – Katy Perry

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  4. You are amazing and you look so beautiful.
    Very few people can pull off this look but you can and DO and your gorgeous eyes shine through.
    Thank you for sharing your dark and dangerous journey into the unknown ! You are an inspiration to us all. The horrible experience is almost over and we are all here to cheer you through to the end.

    Lots of love and hugs.

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  5. I love the way you express yourself, a raw realness with humour- not an easy thing to achieve and yet you do it so well. THANK YOU for letting us in and sharing your experiences. I want to hear it all, yes, even the toilet issues (constipation is a real B*tch). Please know that we keep praying for you. Praying that you can see more rainbows over the storms, to find comfort in everything you do and the strength to keep fighting. Pete, your wife is awesome, yet you know that already. We love you Janine.

    “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas Edison

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  6. An example of incredible humility when you can admit to all things awful in the interests of sharing your journey. Your “weak week” displays a very strong quality-your tenacity! Without tenacity, we would not know about this awful week, without tenacity, you wouldn’t have sat down to write your blog,knowing what the drugs can do, you chose to continue, without tenacity you might have stopped your chemo, so all credit to you!

    “I’m not tough.I’m tenacious” Padma Lakshmi

    “tenacity is a pretty fair substitute for bravery, and the best form of tenacity I know is expressed in a Danish fur trappers principle “The next mile is the only one a person has to make” ” Eric Sevareid

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  7. Thank you Pete, Shal, Leigh-Ann, Joc, Jacqui and Wendy for your quotes and encouragement and supporting my blog. I cannot tell you how much it means to me! Thank you xxx

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