Here I am again with chemo dripping through my veins. Wow that sounds quite poetic, maybe a possible line from a hit song – I could make a fortune! Maybe I could get Celine to sing a sequel to “my heart will go on”. *sorry -chemo humour* 🙂
Chemo brain is now clearly giving me delusions of grandeur and not only making me put strange things in the freezer or yelling at the credit card division for daring to phone me to say my credit card payment hadn’t been made.
I gave the consultant an earful, (peppered with just the right measure of wit and self righteous sarcasm), I had NEVER in 15 years missed a payment, I pay my card off in full every month and how dare you phone me to say I owe R25 and waste my time ( that was delivered with a particular dose of sarcasm!) would they like me sign a payment plan to pay it off or put that on budget? Pete dared to suggest perhaps I should just check that I paid my card last month, this was met with a deadly stare and a curt, “of course I have paid it!”.
So yesterday after having received 3 sms’ s and a computerised voice recorded message from the bank, I checked last month’s eft’s solely for the purpose of sending them a rude email substantiated by my electronic receipt! Imagine my surprise when I could find no proof of payment….in fact I could not find proof of me paying ANY accounts last month. And just like that my indignant sarcastic self righteous bubble deflated . I quietly paid my card and accounts and avoided my phone for the rest of the day…
So where was I…. oh yes, Celine Dion, did I ever mention, I saw her in concert before she was even really famous, it was in …
Just joking, today is my 7th chemo, 8 to go whoo hoo!
Last night after having a bit of a wobble, Pete is here today holding my hand. I am very grateful, especially when one soldier had a bad reaction while saline was being administered through his port, an apparent infection the cause.
The thing I found most upsetting wasn’t seeing him shivering and shaking under a layer of blankets on a blisteringly hot morning, or the oxygen being administered to him by the the calm efficient sisters or even him being loaded up on a stretcher and taken off to hospital by the professional ER 24 paramedics; it was seeing him sitting on his lazy boy all on his own with no-one holding his hand.
“Nothing in this world compares to the comfort and security of having someone just hold your hand.” Richelle E. Goodrich
“Have you ever really held the hand of someone you love? Not just in passing, a loose link between you – but truly clasped, with the pulses of your wrists beating together and your fingers mapping the knuckles and nails like a cartographer learning a country by heart?” Jodi Picoult
“It’s like waking up and finding there’s a war on. Nothing’s the way it used to be and it’s difficult to get your balance. That’s why I held Billy’s hand.” Glenda Millard
“In joined hands there is still some token of hope, in the clinched fist none.” Victor Hugo