Today I got some unexpected news…
Pete and I had an 11 am appointment with the Dent Doctor for our scheduled 3 weekly chemo follow up. This meant I couldn’t have chemo until after we saw him (blood results dependent). This unfortunately also meant a very long day at the Cancer centre. Not really a fun way to spend a Friday but considering I had only 2 more chemos to go, I was in a VERY accepting mood!
The Dent Doctor greeted us with ” can you believe it’s almost over”? I’m not sure who beamed the brightest, me or Pete!
He asked how I was doing, was I having any problems…. ? I told him other than the fact seeing him and having chemo was keeping me from the Oscar trial channel (I am sad to say I am an addict!), I was still feeling quite strong. I also mentioned I had been having some issues with my fingers and showed him my very sad looking fingernails with their darkened, painful nail beds and how the numbness in my fingers and toes (and even the tip of my tongue) was always worse the day after chemo but that it would improve over the week…
My fingers were still feeling rather “tingly”, but it was all okay, I had already pricked them with a pin to make sure I could still feel them! He got really quiet, started reading through his notes and then abruptly shut my file declaring I was done with chemo! Whaaat????
“Are you serious? Are you sure?” were the first words out of my mouth! I was so sure he would suggest that we take a few weeks break from chemo before continuing – this had happened to friend of mine.
He said when the nails show signs of lifting and the numbness started becomming a real problem the risk of permanent damage at my age, was frankly just not worth the two remaining treatments. I was…. surprised, delighted, thrilled, terrified, thrilled, terrified, thrilled…..did I mention thrilled?!
We still had to discuss the future, the next step, the next visit to the plastic surgeon, radiation….WHATEVER…at that moment it all seemed inconsequential and totally do-able!
Pete and I were still in shock when we left his office and we didn’t quite know if we were about to laugh or cry!
I couldn’t wait to tell the Sisters that I wouldn’t be seeing them for treatment afterall! There were hugs and well wishes all around!
So as I sit here, on my lazy boy chair- at home rather than at the cancer centre, I’m still taking it all in…. I know there is still quite a journey ahead. But today I celebrate another graduation, another HUGE milestone and the ending of a tough 5 and a half month long life lesson.
0 chemos to go! 🙂
“Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” Paulo Coelho
“I thought following a straight road would lead me right to my destination. Like the road would just take me there because I was following all the rules. And if the road curved, I couldn’t be sure about where I was going. But look where it got me. Maybe it’s time for a detour.” Susane Colasanti