*sigh* Being a Martyr

This week saw me heading back to Gillian for a regular, or rather a not so regular, physio tune up.

Let me explain: I have been visiting Gillian’s office regularly since the end of Sept 2013. And when I say regularly, I mean at the VERY least, 2ce a month since then. Even during radiation I managed to coerce her into seeing me……….. not once but twice!

So after visiting her rooms early-ish in December I went straight to her receptionist and asked when I could make another appointment – fully intending to get at least one more in before the end of the year. She calmly glanced at Gillian’s diary and said she could squeeze me in on the 14th …………, well that was kind of soon I thought to myself, until I realized she hadn’t finished her sentence,………… of JANUARY…..WHAT??? I won’t lie – there was a moment of sheer unadulterated panic! I counted it out on my fingers just to make sure – THAT WAS IN 5 WEEKS TIME!

Who was going to keep the lymph draining and stop my right side turning into something resembling the consistency of a waterbed AND who was going to stop my right bionic boob (RBB) from migrating North for Christmas? I mean WHO – it’s not like I could * slosh * into any old place with uneven boobs and say “fix me please”.

But seeing as though it would be deemed rather Scrooge-like to berate her for taking time off to spend with her family over the holidays or resent her for actually having the nerve to see other patients, I belligerently pulled up my big girl panties and left her office without making a scene.

I even dropped off a tray of muffins for her as an end of the year “Thank You” gift to show there were no hard feelings and as a direct reference to how she likened post-radiation tissue to a muffin microwaved a little too long!

So over the last 33 days I have been even more studious about my manual lymph drainage and have taken to massaging my right pecs with the vigor and single mindedness of one scary-ass masseuse!

But despite my VERY best efforts and despite having managed to hold ground for most of the 33 days, I walked into her rooms on Wednesday like a battle weary soldier, with my RBB still stubbornly inching its way towards my thyroid.

Ahhhhhhhhh the relief!!!!!

But this little lesson has been a good exercise in letting go, especially of this particular crutch….! And an attempt in saving our Medical Aid funds for the year.

So I stoically left her office in a hurry (so I wouldn’t change my mind) without making another appointment, vowing to only contact her when I really, really, really, REALLY needed to.

I’ve had to fight the impulse since then to pick up the phone and make a “just in case” appointment.

Boy do I feel like quite the martyr.


“Being a martyr is highly overrated. ” Patricia Briggs

“A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.” Oscar Wilde

“My grandmother always acted in other people’s interests, whether they wanted her to or not. If they’d had an Olympics in martyrdom my grandmother would have lost on purpose.” Emily Levine

“Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins”. Mark Twain


2 thoughts on “*sigh* Being a Martyr

  1. Hi Janine
    Love the ‘grandmother’ quote – I wonder why? You are going to be like a one-armed Popeye with biceps and triceps you never even knew you had (or should that be Olive Oil?). Thinking of you, as always. xxxxxx


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